Stalking

Stalking

From the psychiatrical or criminological point of view, stalking is malevolent and intentional chase and molestation of another person (a victim) whose safety is threatened by the stalker. In general stalking includes several different kinds of chasing about the victim.

Main features of stalking:
• The victim is bothered about unwanted attention (bothered by the stalker)
• The stalker repeatedly contacts the victim via mail, e-mail, phoning, texting, sending presents (Content of the messages can be nice or merry, but also offensive and intimidating. It is quite common that at first the messages are nice in order to gain the victim’s attention and contact, but then it usually changes into offences, threats, etc.)
• The stalker physically threatens the victim (waiting for the victim in front of her/his house; scratching the paint of the victim’s car; threat of violence or death, etc.)

Who are stalkers?
Stalker is a person who is happy if s/he can torment somebody.
There can be three situations:
• The victim knows the person and also knows that s/he is the stalker (probable stalker: ex-partner, colleague, acquaintance…)
• The victim knows the person but does not know that the person is the stalker (probable stalker: ex-partner, colleague, acquaintance, neighbor …)
• The victim does not know the stalker at all (probable stalker: a person who knows the victim via newspapers and media; the victim is usually a celebrity)

Kinds of stalkers:
• REJECTED STALKER (The stalker wants to renew the relationship with the victim. The victim probably is her/his: ex-partner, family member, colleague…)
• INTIMACY SEEKER (The stalker wants to start a relationship with the victim – usually a celebrity. But s/he would be satisfied also by being accepted and respected by the celebrity/victim.)
• INCOMPETENT SUITOR (The stalker wants to have an affair or a date with the victim. Mostly just sexual reasons.)
• RESENTFUL STALKER ( The stalker chases about the victim in order to revenge because s/he feels harmed by the victim. S/he wants to control and have power over the victim.)
• PREDATORY STALKER (The stoker’s behaviour is sexually aggressive. S/he collects information about the victim and fantasize about attacking the victim.)

Self-defence (from stalkers):
-Do not reply to their mails, etc.
-Keep pepper spray with you
-Do not go out alone
-Do not go to work/home using your usual path
-Contact police.

More info: http://www.trosky.cz/stalking/stalking.htm
http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalker_(osoba)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stalking

Bulimia nervosa

Bulimia

Bulimia is a disorder defined as repeated attacks of over-eating and extreme control of weight. But the feeling of being over-eaten is relative. (It is a mental health disorder.)
The extreme control of weight also includes intermittent period of starvation, usage of laxatives, diuretics and dehydrating agents, self-induced vomiting, over-exercising. As a result of gauntness the person becomes sensitive to cold, gets easily tired and suffers from weak blood circulation and osteoporosis (rarefaction of bones).

There are many reasons of bulimia, but the most frequent ones are:
• Wont to be slim
• Predispositions to become fat (and want to avoid it)
• Unequal spatial arrangement of body fat
• Inappropriate eating habits
• Family influence (if a member of the family is on a diet, it can negatively influence mainly teen-age people)
• Negative life situation
• Negative self-evaluation
• Family problems

How to get over bulimia? Firstly the person should allow herself/himself to eat normally and regularly, secondly s/he should forget about diets and reduce of weight and finally the person should visit a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

More info: http://www.ordinace.cz/clanek/bulimie/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulimia_nervosa

Cutting

Cutting

It is repeated self-harming on purpose. A person suffering from self-harm cuts or scratches or beats herself/himself in order to get over some problem or mental stress. After cutting herself/himself s/he feels immediate relief because the body (in order to lessen the pain) produces endorphin (hormone which makes the person feel happy). But the relief does not last long and the person feels bad about the self-harming and cuts herself/himself again to feel relief and this way gets trapped in a never ending circle. Anyway, the circle can be undone if the person admits her/his problem and accepts professional help.

More info: movie: Secretary
http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sebepo%C5%A1kozov%C3%A1n%C3%AD

Laziness

Laziness
Laziness is a virtue. Those who can be bothered to tell you otherwise are clearly lacking it.
Emery Finkelstein

This quality is considered to be a sin (a capital sin) by Christians. But do they think of reasons of laziness? I doubt it; not all people are lazy willingly. There is also a small group of people who suffer from chronic laziness (illness). And feelings of laziness may also be a symptom of deep or clinical depression or listlessness.

On the other hand, when somebody does not want to do anything despite the fact that s/he can, then it is surely not a virtue but wickedness.

Kinds of laziness:

•Physical laziness
•Intellectual laziness (a tendency not to ask questions or investigate thoroughly, applying a kind of mental routine or just following the crowd)


More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laziness
http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Laziness

Workholism

Workholism

Work is the only essence of life to a workaholic. S/he is addicted to everything touching her/his job. But because the only way to cure the victim of any addiction is to make him/her abstain forever, workholism is not from the medical point of view an addiction, but an illness. This illness is usually being connected with “Yuppies” (young citymen extremely interested in building their career/extremely dedicated to working). This phenomenon originally (very probably) came from the USA, where bosses of big companies pushed on their employees to work harder and after hours.
Nowadays, more and more people get trapped. Reasons can be as the following:
1) Problems at home. (escape from the problems)
2) Problems with partner. (escape from the problems)
3) Compensation of inferiority complex/ low self-esteem
4) To demanding boss requiring still more and more efficiency at work (“If you do not do what I ask of you, you will loose the job.” This constant stress can start the illness as well.)

Workholism then causes other problems at home and with relationships in general or deteriorates previous problems. Workaholics usually deal with this situation via drinking alcohol – or creating any other addiction (smoking, drugs…), while the only way how to get out of it is: lessen the number of hours spent working; get involved in leisure time activities (with friends, partner…), have hobbies and be able to relax.

More info: http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workoholismus
http://sorry.vse.cz/cgi-bin/toASCII/~xmard16/vyukproj/psp_work.htm

Intolerance

Intolerance

I just met a bunch of children, somebody would say normal kids, but their approach towards other people was simply ruthless, intolerant and shocking. They were three girls and three boys all about eleven years old. While the girls were yelling (bad language) and supporting the guys, the guys were throwing cones and stones at the people around (but not at all of the people, they were choosing victims who were obviously different from them, e.g. wearing not so usual kind of clothes). It made me think and ask myself: Why? The answer may be simply like this: 1) Their parents do not pay appropriate attention to them.
2) Their parents are ruthless as well as them.
3) They feel insecure in the presence of people who are different and this fear causes their aggressiveness.
4) They are badly influence by watching violent movies.
5) They are bored. (But they are not fully aware of their actions. They do not know their behaviour is wrong.)
6) They need to prove their strength to point out their place in the society and their own signification.
7) They are being bullied themselves.

Second thing which surprised me about them was their dastardliness. When the victims showed they were more than willing to defence themselves and beat the bullies up, the children-bullies ran away. That points at other problems: their low self-esteem or missing respect completely.
But the most alarming thing is that out of these children will very probably grow up adult bullies… (It seems that school detention would not change them into good people.)

More info: http://www.nobully.org.nz/advicek.htm#two

Anorexia nervosa

Anorexia nervosa
What makes people think they are fat when the opposite is the truth? Just one look into the mirror via mind of a person who suffers from anorexia might give us the answer, but is there any?
Just two examples from the real life: A brother said to his younger teen-age sister that her favourite singer did not like chubby girls. At first she decided to reduce her weight and was on a diet. She was slimmer and slimmer but was not able to see the true picture of herself in the mirror. After couple of weeks she ended up in a hospital, weighting only 30 kilos.
Another thing badly influencing healthy development of young people are extremely slim (skinny) models; not only women but even men.
(Examples above might be two of much causation but they do not have to be.)

Unfortunately, there is no specific causation of anorexia. And when the causation cannot be found it also cannot be removed, therefore only the consequences are cured. Anyway, everything depends on the person suffering from anorexia – whether (s)he wants to be cured or not.
NB: An adult’s BMI should not be lower than 18.5.

More info: http://www.ordinace.cz/clanek/anorexie-mentalni-anorexie/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorexia_nervosa

Rubbish
How many times a day do you slip over a banana peeling or remove a chewing-gum from your shoes? If your answer is: at least once a day, then you may agree with me that the whole situation is quite serious. But how to solve it?

First option: change the whole society into well-educated and responsible people who dump rubbish into appropriate bins to be recycled/composted
Level of Demand Factor: nearly mission impossible
Second option: make people think twice about their shopping lists; and place recycle-dustbins closer to their households so that they are reachable to every one
Level of Demand Factor: doable mission
Third option: apart from the options above, it would be useful to find out how to reduce the amount of rubbish produced at work (e.g. paper –1) if one side is scrawled over the second side can be used for making notes
2) make your own handmade-paper birthday/party card…)
Level of Demand Factor: not so difficult mission

More info: http://www.reducerubbish.govt.nz/

Gossips

Gossips

In spite of the existence of gossip column in newspapers the phenomenon of courtyard-gallery-scandalmongers has managed to survive till nowadays and it is still very popular.In the past there were people hired by politicians to go to pubs and other public places to “go sip” beer and listen to people’s opinions.

Gossips are usually used by people to communicate, warn of immoral behaviour committed by other people; and gossiping is especially spread among women to share information/reference about men who are “catch”. But gossips can be also extremely negative and can damage good name of anybody of us within a very short time (e.g. tabloid press following the life of celebrities).

More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gossip

Envy
E.g.: My neighbour has a new car. I envy him and buy two new cars. / My neighbour has a new car. I envy him and pierce tyres of his car.
These two short examples above clearly demonstrate the negatives of envy: meanness, wish to inflict misfortune on others, cause of unhappiness…

Reasons: low self-esteem, eagerness

But is there anything positive about envy? Maybe when a small child envies his older brother the ability to walk and speak, the child would put more effort in learning it and achieve his goal faster. Another example could be a well-read man whose knowledge is envied by someone else and makes the person to learn more in order to catch up with the man. But now we are balancing at the tiny edge that contradistinguishes jealousy from envy. Anyway both of these qualities have something in common: They can be shown in either positive or negative way.

More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Envy
http://ozivote.cz/clanky/2004/11/22/slecna-zavist

Excessive Jealousy

Excessive Jealousy
Every one of us can surely remember probably the most famous example of this kind of jealousy: Othello by William Shakespeare. But believe it or not, even nowadays (several hundreds years later) there are such Othellos either in trousers or skirts.
In general is jealousy an emotion referring to negative feelings such as fear of loosing somebody precious to us. In some cases it can lead to protecting the person and paying more attention to her/him which is not so bad if it does not cross the line. And if it does cross the line? Then jealousy can change in a dangerous disease joined by stalking, insecurity, anxiety, anger, sadness and disgust. This very dangerous mixture of feelings turns in a poison which can eat up even a good long-term relationship.

More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jealousy
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Deal-Jealousy-Jealous-2249/Pictures-Ex-s.htm

Gluttony

Gluttony
Eagerness to eat or lack of strong will to resist pleasure of food? Maybe both. But how many of us pass a candy shop without noticing the wonderful smell of chocolate? What makes us eat one chocolate bar after another? Possible reasons could be: stress, nervousness, ill thyroid, sweet-tooth, problems, eagerness and many others.

Is gluttony a sin? According to Bible: Yes. But in my opinion it is not a sin but a stomach-ache-causing problem which results in obesity, cardiovascular problems, problems with knees and other joints, problems with blood-pressure and breathing and so on. On the other hand I am absolutely not against good cuisine, quite the opposite. Nevertheless, it is better to be safe than sorry.

P.S.: This article should not encourage anybody to overeat himself/herself.

More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gluttony
http://httpyavww.knight.org/cathen/06590a.htm

Alcoholism

Alcoholism

Alcoholism can be defined as an addictive disorder or alcohol dependence. The term "alcoholism" was first used in 1849 by the physician Magnus Huss to describe the systematic adverse effects of alcohol. It is a disease which can be hardly fought by one’s will.
Four main features: • Craving – a strong need to drink
• Loss of control – not able to stop drinking once you’ve begun
• Physical dependence – withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea,
sweating or shakiness after stopping drinking
• Tolerance – the need to drink greater amounts of alcohol in order to
get "high"

Reasons: stress, influence of the environment, emotional health problems/physical health problems, genetic predisposition; foppery (as a reason to start drinking)

Effects of long abuse of alcohol:
● Physical Health Effects: cirrhosis of the liver, pancreatitis, epilepsy, polyneuropathy, alcoholic dementia, heart disease, increased chance of cancer, nutritional deficiencies, sexual dysfunction, severe cognitive problems and death from many sources (e.g. alcohol should not be consumed by asthmatics/ people suffering from too low or too high blood pressure, people taking medicaments; pregnant women – consumption of alcohol increases the risk of giving a birth to disabled children, etc.).
● Mental Health Effects: anxiety and depression disorders, psychosis, confusion, organic brain syndrome, panic disorder, alcohol withdrawal syndrome, aggressiveness
● Social Effect: risk of loosing job, risk of loosing friends/family (marital conflict/divorce), charges for drunk driving, domestic violence/public violence, emotional blackmail, loss of home, stealing; and may also result in loss of respect from the society + loneliness
● Other Risks: homicide, suicide

Solution: alcoholism treatment, detoxification followed by a combination of supportive therapy (e.g. psychotherapy), attendance at self-help groups; prevention of alcoholism

vs.

Alcohol as medicine:

-Antiseptic to disinfect the skin before injections are given
-Ethanol-based soaps

-Alcohol is also used as a preservative for specimen
-Solvent in medical drugs, perfumes (aromatherapy)

More info: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/alcoholism.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholism
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2TUqhQ6QLg
http://www.answerbag.com/q-view/523475
http://www.aim-digest.com/gateway/general/articles/asthma.htm
http://www.upmchealthplan.com/insight/Asthma/April_2007/avoid.html
http://blood-pressure.emedtv.com/high-blood-pressure/alcohol-and-blood-pressure.html

Emotional Blackmail

Emotional Blackmail

I am quite positive that most of us experienced emotional blackmail in at least one of its forms. Parents surely remember their children’s whining in front of a toy-shop; or quite the opposite: bribing their of-springs with chocolate in order to make them “good babies” (i.e. silent and obedient). But there are also worse forms of emotional abuse: threatening (to make the victim do what the blackmailer wants saying, for E.g.: If you do not do it, I will tell your mother.), manipulating (the blackmailer demands repayment of “a dept”, E.g. You owe me a favour, can’t you remember?), keeping the victim under pressure (by yelling at him/her, blaming…), using the victim’s weaknesses against the victim in general. Reasons why the blackmailer does so (probably) are: insecurity of the blackmailer; fear of being abandoned; fear of loosing control over the situation; the blackmailer was blackmailed in the past and learnt to use emotional blackmail to gain what (s)he wants.

Victims of emotional blackmail usually feel desperate, insecure, unimportant, unworthy, guilty and unable to step out of the never ending pressure of FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guilt). [i] This FOG prevents them from thinking clearly and seeing the whole situation from a different point of view – and that’s what they need to do to be able to control their lives themselves: to detach from their emotions. [ii]

[i] Lauren LaBate, http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html
[ii] Lauren LaBate, http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html

More info: http://peterfox.com.au/family_blackmail.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html