Emotional Blackmail
I am quite positive that most of us experienced emotional blackmail in at least one of its forms. Parents surely remember their children’s whining in front of a toy-shop; or quite the opposite: bribing their of-springs with chocolate in order to make them “good babies” (i.e. silent and obedient). But there are also worse forms of emotional abuse: threatening (to make the victim do what the blackmailer wants saying, for E.g.: If you do not do it, I will tell your mother.), manipulating (the blackmailer demands repayment of “a dept”, E.g. You owe me a favour, can’t you remember?), keeping the victim under pressure (by yelling at him/her, blaming…), using the victim’s weaknesses against the victim in general. Reasons why the blackmailer does so (probably) are: insecurity of the blackmailer; fear of being abandoned; fear of loosing control over the situation; the blackmailer was blackmailed in the past and learnt to use emotional blackmail to gain what (s)he wants.
Victims of emotional blackmail usually feel desperate, insecure, unimportant, unworthy, guilty and unable to step out of the never ending pressure of FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guilt). [i] This FOG prevents them from thinking clearly and seeing the whole situation from a different point of view – and that’s what they need to do to be able to control their lives themselves: to detach from their emotions. [ii]
[i] Lauren LaBate, http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html
[ii] Lauren LaBate, http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html
More info: http://peterfox.com.au/family_blackmail.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html
I am quite positive that most of us experienced emotional blackmail in at least one of its forms. Parents surely remember their children’s whining in front of a toy-shop; or quite the opposite: bribing their of-springs with chocolate in order to make them “good babies” (i.e. silent and obedient). But there are also worse forms of emotional abuse: threatening (to make the victim do what the blackmailer wants saying, for E.g.: If you do not do it, I will tell your mother.), manipulating (the blackmailer demands repayment of “a dept”, E.g. You owe me a favour, can’t you remember?), keeping the victim under pressure (by yelling at him/her, blaming…), using the victim’s weaknesses against the victim in general. Reasons why the blackmailer does so (probably) are: insecurity of the blackmailer; fear of being abandoned; fear of loosing control over the situation; the blackmailer was blackmailed in the past and learnt to use emotional blackmail to gain what (s)he wants.
Victims of emotional blackmail usually feel desperate, insecure, unimportant, unworthy, guilty and unable to step out of the never ending pressure of FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guilt). [i] This FOG prevents them from thinking clearly and seeing the whole situation from a different point of view – and that’s what they need to do to be able to control their lives themselves: to detach from their emotions. [ii]
[i] Lauren LaBate, http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html
[ii] Lauren LaBate, http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html
More info: http://peterfox.com.au/family_blackmail.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefifteen.html
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